Raven's short stories and fascinating poems

  If you are any knid of female wearing anything and speaking in anyway, you are judged, if you wear makeup you are insecure, if you were attractive outfits you are filled with pride and vain. If you wear your hair in braids and you aren't- African/African American/African Britsh or just have a darker skin tone then it is "culteral approopriation." It really shouldn't matter what people wear or how they have their hair, as long as people are respectful.  If you are someone with a darker skintone then you are assumed guilty and a criminal. If you are straight and white and Male you are instantly the villain. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community (which I am) then you are instantly a "victim." If you are a "school-going" child, you are overworked and overtired without credible reason, then people say you a lazy. If you are the school freak (which I was) Then you don't fit in, you should kill yourself, But when you do your haters suddenly lo...

 (there is a second version of this coming out, it will be a better version) (Not referring to stereotype II) It doesn't matter how many times you break my almost non-existant heart! I don't remember things I should and I don't begin to understand the reasons! I'm an actor, call me Sara, I'm tired of acting, I have no grounded/true identity. The scars on my arms are nothing! But the scars on embedded in my mind are psycho monsters. No matter my action, I'm to be wrong, I'm never good enough and always Judged! Are the stereotypes really worth it?

These are my 13 reasons why Here goes: 1) No one understands me, 2) I can't express myself the way I want to, 3) The voices in my head are always conflicted, 4) The relapse- It's hard to no be trusted with sharp objects, 5) trust- It isn't there and when I try others don't, 6) Relationships- They break down and I am always blamed,  7) Worthlessness- I am not valued, I'm never good enough, 8) Pain- It's a reaction yet maybe its all I feel, 9) I am broken. No! I am shattered, but no one sees it, 10) I'm sick, really sick but there is no cure. It's a terminal illness and it's worse because no one sees it!  11) When I laugh, smile or joke is when I'm hurting the most, 12) I don't want to care anymore, No one else truly seems to, I'm there for everyone but don't expect the same-it's okay 13) Trauma- How am I functioning right now? I'm harmed yet I don't know why, I'm incomplete! These are my 13 reasons why , I wish somebody...

Fourteen was the first time I remeber Cutting,  No one cared at the time! Certain people-The Bitch for example knew, No help was given not even any first aid was Administered. I silently continued, and to this day I have to fight the addiction. People may think it isn't an addiction and I can admit it isn't spoken about enough but it is an addiction.  I know it. I lived it. I am living it. An Addiction never goes away it is a life thing,  A disease that you rarely see and barely understand. Figures that some people wonder how a person can hurt themselves but when you are in so much pain mentally or feeling so numb that the only escape is physcal pain is it so hard to understand it becomes an addiction. Pain is addictive especially when you either feel "too much" or "not enough/anything" Please reach out if you are hurting in anyway, or better yet before it gets that bad get help, it is never too soon but it can always be too late. You are valued and always w...

  I was alone, yet I never knew lonliness until I met You. You lit up My world and continue to do so, especially with your charming smile. You held My heart and continue to do so, when everyone else made the choice to throw into a Jagged Blender, which cut deep not only into My heart but also My soul! I Thank You for Your everlasting patience, and love. I admire You for caring for My scars by physical and mental. For all the hard work You put into Our relationship, which I hold so close to My heart,  Closer than anyone else's. To You My darling, I promise to love and care for You in the way you have always one for me. To You My darling, I give My heart and I know You won't mind that it has a few baind-aids. Through the years I know We will continue to grow and be strong to the point where We are unbreakable. We will also pass strong morals and strength itself to Our Children. Lastly when We are both "Old and Grey" with Our Grandchildren running around holding hands, W...

  My dearest L,  First My heart was One,  Then it was Two, And so on, so on, Finally My heart was broken into billions of tiny pieces, There was nothing left! Until You My love,  Came and tried to put it all back together,  There is one final peice of My heart left. I give this piece to to you My Love,  Pray You don't  use it,  Like I have been used in the past. I give you all of My: Love, Trust, Faith. To You I share my secrets and dreams,  I am damaged goods but I won't lose My shine, Unless I lose You,  You have the "Remains" of My heart. Always and I hope that I have Yours Always  Miss Raven 

  I know no one will read any of this until I am dead and even then I doubt anyone will care.  Yet, If any of My work is read then please know I meant every word, I am so damaged and I don't have alot of people by my side but those that are I cherish. People that are close to me I valuble beyond anything I have ever known because in the past I have never had anyone. So to have a family is the greatest gift of all, Even when there is no blood relation.  I have so much to say but I might as well give up I have so much To give  and showbut I might as well just hide it all away. I have so much potential but not enough time to do anything, despite laying in bed all day feeling hopeless and aggrevated often. I have so much love to give but not enough people to give it to. Those I am close to I am never close enough to.  Miss Raven 

 Sorry I haven't posted in a while i kind of forgot about this blog but I will continue to add to it, ADHD (undignosed) doesn't help so please be patient.  Thank you Miss Raven

  I awake from the nightmares in my sleep, to face the nightmare that is my life, I lay in bed for an hour and a half almost as if I'm paralysed, yet I know I need to go to college. I get there late, again and when I do get there on time or even early the tutors in my hub seem suprised, which is actually kind of annoying. I socialize with those around always attempting to make the others smile, including staff, I crack jokes and say funny things. I attend or attempt to attend my classes, I'm not bullied although I was the"High School Freak". I try to eat and I either end up eating too much or to little, I help others with their issues or at least try my best to offer comfort.  Yet no one sees the tears No one understands or sees the inner battle I fight every minute of everyday just to survive.  I have a roof over my head but my house/roomate is annoying and I hate it, not her just the fact that she annoys me so much just by walking into the room, I try to be nice to ...