Always Helping The Others In Life

 

I awake from the nightmares in my sleep, to face the nightmare that is my life, I lay in bed for an hour and a half almost as if I'm paralysed, yet I know I need to go to college.

I get there late, again and when I do get there on time or even early the tutors in my hub seem suprised, which is actually kind of annoying.

I socialize with those around always attempting to make the others smile, including staff, I crack jokes and say funny things.

I attend or attempt to attend my classes, I'm not bullied although I was the"High School Freak".

I try to eat and I either end up eating too much or to little, I help others with their issues or at least try my best to offer comfort. 

Yet no one sees the tears

No one understands or sees the inner battle I fight every minute of everyday just to survive. 

I have a roof over my head but my house/roomate is annoying and I hate it, not her just the fact that she annoys me so much just by walking into the room, I try to be nice to her. 

I am messy and yet organised feeling nothing but feeling everything, and I mean everything.

I barely sleep, which is why it is such a nightmare, I have to deal with annoying support workers that rush me too much.

I am grateful for so much, but it feels like everything I have, I have to earn or fight for. 

People are constantly going behind my back or they behave like retards especially when they know they've been found out. I can rarely take anyone at face value so I have learnt not to. 

No one understands me or my mind.

I am a lost soul

Before my time

talking to a brick wall 

that i just wanna knock on it's ass. 

Miss Raven