Raven's short stories and fascinating poems

 This is not a poem or really even a story.  But... I have been hurt, now I am simply numb, I have never known true love, or real care  I have been hurt and betrayed by pretty much most of the people in my life. This includes Family, "Friends" and people I don't even know. I have a big world all to myself, yet dark tendencies and wishes sometimes, in both. My little world is no less real than this one, you could say it has become a coping mechanism... One that is so ingrained into my soul that it won't ever go away.  I have wasted my life pretty much, I am messy and although I prefer tidy places and such I just can't be tidy, By society's standard I am disabled or stupid or whatever you choose to label me.  But firstly i have no such disability because there is no such thing.  Secondly, I am not some stupid freak, because on one is normal or even typical and because no one could have done what I have done.  I am that one person in every generation that...

  Sometimes, it is as if you cannot hear me, as if I am unheard.  It hurts and yet deep down I know that you don't mean to appear as if you cannot hear me.  Yet, there seems to be nothing I can do to convince you to listen to my voice and as much as I love you and want what is best for you, sometimes I feel as if it is best left unsaid. Your unpredictability makes you seem so dangerous, and so distant, yet I know deep down how you feel and what you really want.  What you want if to be comforted and perhaps heard yourself, You want to feel safety and love and most of all you want stability. I know that because we both want all those things. We also want a relationship that works, and yet it seems like an impossible mountain to climb. Despite how much we love each other, Yet everyday I want to  believe this struggle is worth it and we will get to the top with a smile on our faces and love coming from our hearts. But what if we never reach the top of that mountain?...

                                            Mamma Dear Mamma,   I wrote this to let you know exactly how I feel, so here goes, Well, what is there to say, a lot I guess, First of all I want you to know just how much I love you.  I truly do, despite everything we have been through and I want to extend my dearest apologies for any hurt done unto you by my hand, word, or action. I know Sorry is only truly shown through action and not word, but in my heart I am truly. Secondly, I wish for you to know that I hate that you hurt yourself, in some of the ways that you do.  I understand most of these things are your coping mechanisms.  You could say in some ways, I understand but in others I am at a complete loss.  I hope you understand that I don't blame you for anything, because if you could have been there you would have. We will get justice some day and ...

 Invisible Girl Back again to the long, dark hallway of my lonely life I being once more to feel suffocated. My legs struggle with each heavy step. My lungs burn. I watch over and over the memories I have, They are from before. Before it happened! I pause the first eye-catching memory. Its of me dancing in a little blue dress, It is the happiest of my memories. The next is much darker. I fall to my knees trying to ignore the demon. The dark memory is of the first time I was hurt. By those I was meant to trust the most.  It finally all fades to black, as tears well up in my soft hazel eyes. For I am the invisible girl, the one that no person ever sees nor notices. I am pain incarnate! I am the innocent and left behind ghost of your inner nightmare. FOR I AM THE INVISIBLE! I can barely breathe now, as it go's an even darker shade of black. My conscience fades. The sirens come too late I am gone. All because you chose not to listen, because you couldn't hear me. (Note from Miss R...

 The air has gone, yet it only seems to affect me, Along with a small percentage of other people. For me the air being gone is like being forced Under ice cold water. The pain is unendurable. Yet I have to endure this every second of every day. I struggle violently as my lungs attempt to bring in air, That no longer exists. All because I keep constantly drowning, In these ice cold yet shallow waters. There is no real  way out, if i want to survive, I must endure this senseless pain. If I want to be at peace, I must allow the waters to take me. Perhaps, I shall. There is no other way out of my predicament, Where I survive. Perhaps it is time for me to... Drift down this lonely river,  Off the edge of the raging waterfall.  

 I cry! I cry! My tears are always falling, they never seem to stop. It's like I've filled a bottle and it hasn't been filled to the top. Overflowing, filled too much! It feels I am drowning, yet my eyes are the only thing that cry! Soldiers are waging a war against an invisible enemy. Much like my tears struggling for the totality... of their joyous freedom, far away from me. But ending up being just another group of fallen soldiers. Each time, much like those on the Battlefield, Of violence and pain, only to imagine their long lost... Freedom and joyous lives.

 Those who hurt others are usually hurt themselves and yet they are the greater evil in life. Take a spirit, they are here for many reasons, but mostly they are hurting, or don't understand their time has come and gone. The school-yard bully and the kid that never talks may have more in common than first thought. Everyone has a heart and a soul, or at least most do. But bit by bit that heart can break a little everyday and that soul can turn colder everyday until it turns to ice. Self hate rises, Hope fades and kindness, understanding and compassion can disappear altogether. It's not just words that can cause scars it's actions too.  No one is a saint, but all may be forgiven, no matter the mistake. Penance shall always be paid , if not by the person then by their soul! Perception is a dangerous thing, a dangerous, form of knowledge. All because no one has the guts to be real.  They just wear a persona like it's a shop-brought outfit.

 You see? See me, Hear me, Comfort me. But you can never be me, Understand me, or ever feel what I feel, Perhaps it is time... For me to fall off, This untimely reel.  This is real, don't ignore. For I am no Bore!

  Elegantly depressive   Drowning in waves so deep it is sorrowful ,    Yet of my own murderous creation,    Fighting to reach the top .     W hen put into perspective ,    There is little point in fighting the inevitable .    Fighting the inevitable will cause more pain ,    More sorrow     T he light at the end of this very long tunnel ,   M ay not be worth the pain endured for years upon years.   How would we know if we did not try?   We would not!   Is the pain worth the risk without the definite of the promised happiness?   Depression in itself is a deceiver,   A dangerous deceiver with the elegance of a lord and the rage of a beaten demon.   An unpaid assassin ,    Created to kill: dreams, hope, happiness and purity.   The waves are the symptoms of depression.  

Hi, all  My name is miss Raven This is not my real name but it is the one I use on my blog. This is just a note to say that All work published here has been written by my own hand. Please email me if you want to use any of my work and please give credit if you do. No one may use my work without expressed permission.

 The end, how I wish it would come sooner.  I cry and scream, it solves nothing. Truth is within us,  We don't have to end our lives, To end our suffering. Our depression is our mind And so we change our mindset. People run their mouths, So run! Run to the love and not the hate, The forgiveness and not the vengeance. The reflection of our inner souls. Broken things can be fixed.  We don't need to fix ourselves, We need to fix our behaviours. We need to be united, family. We're all one but we all shine differently. Have different gifts and talents. Are all different but no matter our family name, religion,  Sexual orientation or colour we are all family.