As the shadows fall/ Imagine

 My pain, My dispair, I am dispondent and hopeless. 

Not being able to understand the way I am and why,

Not being able to trust anyone because I've been lied to so many times,

It casts a shadow upon my life, one so dark that if this darkness could suffocate me it would be doing so- at every second of everyday!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Imagine

Imagine never feeling safe, Imagine never knowing trust, Imagine being told a million different things!

Imagine barely being able to get out of bed, Having no sense of Home or Hope!

Imagine eing in a room full of people who just refuse to listen, yet when ypu've had enough and lash out they say things like "Act like an adult, Then we'll talk."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Imagine part two

Imagine a foster carer who used to be a nurse telling a child of about fourteen

"Plasters aren't for self-harm cuts."

I was told that by Christine Gregory!

She was someone who was meant to care and all she did was abuse her power.

Whats more is she used to make me let her bathe me as a teenager claiming "I refused to do it by myself."

she once tore apart my christmas present and then claimed "I was being nasty and disrespectful to her."

She never respected my personal space and would not give me medical attention when I needed it, She'd come into my bedroom without knocking, meaning she never gave me basic respect.

but of course she would but me things I liked and although she wasn't some kind of predator as far as I i'm aware she did it I feel so I would keep quiet about how horrible she was.

In high school I "thought I was being bullied." apparently!

But NO! I was bullied and disrespected by almost all of the people in that disgusting, disgraceful school-HUNGER(HELL)HILL

I have no reason to trust anyone i share this with, nor any reason to bullshit, lie or manipulate.

I have no authenticity in anything other than my writing. I have had to play a part all my life just to surive, but I am ALWAYS seen as the VILLAIN.

That's what hurts the most in the end, because No one cares and those that docan't help, they can't make any of this better and they can;t make any of this go away. 

singed Miss Raven